May 2007

Our unwinding and relaxing in Sicily ended with one of those days where so many things go wrong, all you can do is laugh and wonder what will happen next. We were running late for the airport, causing Clare to power on through Sicilian roads at 150kph. We arrived, dropped off the car (with no petrol left) and stood around waiting for the shuttle for the airport. Waiting waiting...

The shuttle arrives and the man takes one look at the wheelchair and keeps driving. Waiting waiting...

The shuttle comes back. People start getting on, so I (Clare) put the suitcase on and tell the man to put the ramp down for Simon. He says the ramp non funzione. As I get more and more concerned about missing the plane, explain to him in my broken Italian that is was working fine yesterday (didn't know how to say three days ago!), and it really is not that difficult. After much arguing and gesticulating on both parts, and my display of hand clapping, he starts up the bus and as far as we could tell, was about to drive off with the suitcase. So I drag the suitcase off the bus again, only to be told that was not necessary - he was only moving the bus so he could get the 'broken' ramp out - which of course was not broken at all.

With that little episode out of the way, we manage to board the plane quite painlessly and get to Rome safely.

Normally, being the last off the plane (as you wait for the wheelchair to arrive), you get to the luggage carousel just in time to get your bag off before the next plane load of luggage arrives. Not so in Rome. We were of course last off the plane, but when we get to the luggage carousel, it was empty, and surrounded by a crowd of increasingly agitated Romans who we've noticed are not known for their patience. After about five minutes one person decided to go and ask at the lost baggage counter what was going on, we were rather amused to see the entire congregation of passengers head over to the counter together, in an effort to speed up proceedings. Surely an airport can't lose a whole planeload of baggage??

Simon and I sat contentedly people watching - we had seen the bags being unloaded from the plane while we waited for the wheelchair so we knew they were not far away - probably the staff were just taking a coffee break. An hour later, the bags came onto the carousel.

With that behind us, I realise I don't know the details of the hotel I booked for the night in Orvieto to help break up the journey home to Verona. We find an internet kiosk, put some coins in the slot, only to find that once again - non funzione.

Giving up, hoping we might recognise the name of the hotel, we headed off to find the shuttle to the long term carpark where we had left our old, dilapidated VW Passat "Trend", which incidentally seems to have a new creak, squeak, or rattle each time we drive it.

We wandered for about 15 minutes and asked 2 or 3 people directions and then finally saw the shuttle bus stop (we must have walked past 2 on the way). Safely back at the car, we load in the suitcase and get ready to begin our long drive, only to find that we had left the lights on for 4 days. Not surprisingly, the battery was flat. Our car non funzione.

(The reason the lights were left on is that the car was built long before such technological feats as that annoying bing bing bing sound when you open the door, or a light on the dashboard showing the lights are on. It seems it was also built before tape players or CD players, which only leaves Italian radio which consists of a plethora of stations that all play 55 minutes of rapid Italian jabbering each hour, and maybe one tacky love song.)

Could today get any worse?

By this time it is about 7pm (flight having landed at 5) and we are hoping to get to Tuscany for the night.

For once, we are pleasantly surprised. Things start to fall into place. The carpark attendant tells me they can provide a free mechanic service, to come and jump start the car. He turns up within 15 minutes. The car starts, we drive to Orvieto, wander through the beautiful town, find an amazing chocolate shop with internet access to find the hotel details, and at last settle in for the night in our cheap and cosy roadside, freight-train-side, stinking hot hotel room with air conditioning that non funzione.

A perfect end to a perfect day.

The next day was much more pleasant as we drove home to Verona through Umbria, stopping at some beautiful towns and a winery on the way.

After lunch at Lake Trasimeno

Typical little alley in Spello

Views from Montefalcone - the balcony of Umbria

After a midnight dinner in Bologna and such a long day of driving, we were happy to be home in Verona for a few days of chilling out before the next adventure.

Some simple words and phrases for getting about in Italy:

No:
Apart from the pronunciation no explanation needed.

Un altro:
Another one or the same again as in, please pour me another.

Non funzione:
Does not work. Commonly associated in Italy most things; lift, bus, key, toilet, hotel room cards, television in hotels, internet, printers, disabled ramps, disabled stair climbers etc.

Sciopero:
Strike. What you can expect when catching any form of public transport.

Incinta:
Pregnant. What Clare is.

Disabili:
Disabled. What I am.

Chiuso:
Closed. What everything is that you want to be Aperto.

Aperto:
Open. Not used very often.

Maniaco:
Maniac. You should yell this at most drivers on the roads.

Idioto:
Meanwhile every one else is yelling this at you.

Tedesco:
German. What everyone thinks we are in our car.

Pieno:
Full. What you will be after every meal.

Vino:
Wine. The A.

Birra:
Beer. The B.

Pizza:
Pizza. The C.

Zona limitato:
Limited traffic areas where we are allowed due to the wheelchair. Quite a perk in Italy.

If ever in doubt just move your hands a lot and speaka like-a you woulda for saying mamma mia. Also adding a’s, o’s or i’s to the end of each word will often work just fine. Clare’s Italian seems to improve dramatically when she is angry and mine seems to improve dramatically when I have had a few drinks.

We are both enjoying learning quite a lot and it is coming along. I have post it notes all over the house and Clare seems to remember everything she learnt at school.

The bump at 18 weeks:

Mum and baby both doing well. Had two JW's knock on the door this morning and Clare was asked for the first time if she was pregnant. I thought that was a rather bold question. Clare was annoyed not to have had the presence of mind to look offended and reply, no.

We head off to Switzerland in a few days to visit Jen, Patrick and Elia and to get the 19 week scan.

We spent a lovely 3 days in Sicily, and wished we had more. We stayed in San Vito lo Capo which was a beautiful glimpse into Sicilian life, and then in Taormina. The Lonely Planet or ‘Bible’ as we’ve taken to calling it said, ‘it is difficult to exaggerate the beauty of Taormina’. We thought that sentence achieved it. Not to be too harsh the views were spectacular, but unfortunately it seemed a little aimed at catching the turisti dollar.

Clare’s top 5:

1. Tasty food in San Vito lo Capo.

2. A chance to catch some rays while Simon fished.

3. Seeing an authentic ‘passegiata’ as families packed the streets at 10.30pm, then sat down to dinner in the restaurants with their impeccably behaved toddlers.

4. Improving my Italian with the friendly hotel staff who spoke no English.

5. Pastries and cappuccinos every morning.

Simon’s top 5:

1. The food.

2. Not much pushing and not many cobbles in San Vito.

3. A chance to do some fishing in Italy.

Although this was the catch of the day... no it's not bait

4. Lovely views.

5. People watching. At the beach and seeing old people sitting in front of their houses on the street.

There were also some low lights;

Our bottom 5:

1. Pushing up ridiculous hills in Taormina.

2. Driving through laneways so narrow we had to put the wing mirrors in and were left with about a cm on each side of the car. Meanwhile the car behind was amazingly patient for an Italian, as Clare tried not to look at the walls on either side which were covered with evidence of previous cars’ scraping.

3. Arguing with rude bus driver at the airport who lied about the ramp not working, then after 5 minutes of Clare’s Italian ranting and gesticulating he gave in and spent a whole two minutes turning keys and pressing buttons. The poor soul will never get those two minutes of his life back.

4. The one time we ate non Italian food at a German restaurant and it sucked.

5. Not being organised enough to go up Mt Etna.

Ciao...

Many people say that Verona is just a mini Rome. To our way of thinking Rome was just a big Verona.

We spent a lot of time walking from place to place which took its toll,

as we tried to cram all of Rome into three days. We did the Lonely Planet ‘Rome in two days’ over three days and still had to skip some things.

The food was, as always in Italy, exceptional and we enjoyed sampling some of the local delicacies;

I could have smoked fragola tobacco all night, though Clare with her chest infection and the bump were good sports to go along in the first place.

The scale and abundance of Roman ruins and landmarks is mind boggling. Sitting under the domed roof of the Pantheon you can’t help but echo the question, ‘how the hell did they build this?’

‘How the hell did they get these columns up?’

I managed to get over the rubble and into the Forum. Once upon a time the centre of the world a vast expanse of temples and monuments, a shopping complex etc, now slowly decaying.

The Colosseum was colossal.

The Basilica was big.

And you could spend a day staring at the paintings in the Sistine Chapel. (no photos as you are not allowed, though that didn’t stop most people.)

We had the car in Rome, though after seeing the way they drive and park we thought it best to leave the car at the hotel and let the experts do the driving. Try getting out of this parking spot;

One last gem of a find is seen in the photo below. The caption reads, ‘Direzione Nazionale Antimafia’.

Next stop Sicily.